Kids Having Kids

By Trish Allison

The most complicated part of a 14-year olds life should be deciding what to wear to the next school dance not what to name their children. British author, Hilary Mantel believes otherwise, as in motherhood should at the top of the “to do” list. Mantel says Western society’s shame of teen motherhood is hypocritical and misogynistic (meaning hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women). Mantel also says that young women’s instincts to reproduce are suppressed in the interests of society’s timetable, a time table she believes was set by and for men. Jezebel.com (a blog aimed at women’s interests) said Mantel’s argument sidesteps all developmental and financial logic and paints the idea of having babies at 14 as a sensible decision- but is it?

The articles author in a sense agrees with Mantel’s idea- she said 14 is a little early for sporting a baby bump, but late teens or early 20s would be more ideal. She writes “As secular, middle-class Canadian females, we are strongly encouraged to go about things in the following order: First, get a good education, then establish a career, subsequently secure an appropriate life partner, finally, have kids” – this seems like the most logical, but then she writes “Well as any PhD candidate or single woman in her late 30s will tell you, the first three can take a bit longer than expected” – well not everyone women is looking to get their PhD and being single shouldn’t put a damper on any plans you have for your future, there are always ways around it. She also thinks that motherhood is geared around a man’s wants because unlike women, they’re fertile well into their 40s. But nonetheless, encouraging motherhood that early is not a good idea.

It would be an important and wise decision to let 14-year olds know that Mantel’s idea is not an open invitation to open up shop. Being a mother is a huge responsibility that a 14-year old is not ready to take on. The mind set between them and older women is completely different. At 14 you should be enjoying life and all the benefits that come with it. At that age you have the freedom to spend money how you see fit, you can be who you want and change it a hundred times over. The only person you have to worry about is yourself and maybe moose, your pet fish. There should be no pressure to grow up, because when you’re older you’ll wish you were 14 again.

There are a ton of reasons as to why having kids at 14 is not a good idea. For one, you’re 14. At this age you don’t have the same life experiences as everyone else. Those experiences mature you as a person and they allow you to learn from your mistakes. When you’re a parent at 14 mistakes have to be few and far between, because those mistakes can jeopardize your child or ability to be a parent. At 14 you’d be forced to drop out of school, and people don’t always go back. Who exactly is this beneficial for? Without a high school diploma in today’s work force you’d be lucky to get a job with a fast food chain. And what happens when you get into that phase where nothing in life is better than a good party where getting wasted with friends is the main attraction? Your child may become neglected, especially if you can’t find someone who is willing to watch him/her so you can go make the most of a 40 pounder. Responsibility is the key and keys should be the only thing a young teen should be responsible for. With the cost of living constantly rising, there is no way a 14-year old could afford a child. They’d be looking to their mom and dad for help and most families are having trouble as is.

If money isn’t a problem, than by all means have children. Yes, you can always go back to school, but you have to want to go back, you have to make it happen. When you do go back your attitude should be of a more serious manner because now you have more than just your future to work for. But if you’re having kids because you’re afraid that at 25 you’ll be rendered infertile, that’s the wrong way to go about it. Mantel’s ideas are biased because of her diagnosis and now she’s slightly delusional. Mantel says “Having sex and having babies is what young women are about” – coming from a young woman, that’s absolute bullshit. There are some women who have no intention of having children. Does that make them wrong? It’s ironic that Mantel’s argument has a feminist touch to it but Jezebel.com writes “The main function of women, as far as Mantel’s argument goes, seems to be reproduction: education and careers have to wait, as babies come first” –isn’t that the way men seen it before women worked hard to change it? Instead of encouraging the 14-year old girls of the world to drop school like a hot potato, Mantel should be encouraging them to be as successful as she is –if she’s going to be a feminist, she should do it right.

There are ways for women to have children even when they’re infertile. Adoption should definitely be considered. There are a lot of children who need good homes because they’re mothers had been irresponsible and had them at a young age (hmm… doesn’t exactly work with Mantel’s argument, does it?). Let’s deal with the homeless children we have before we go and reproduce more (not saying every child born to a young parent is going to be homeless but chances are there will be a fraction that ends up in the system). In the last portion of the article, the author writes about women who were successful in raising a child from a young age. But that won’t always be the case – especially when you have a child at 14. Having a child at 14 compared to having a child at 18 is different and for the most part shouldn’t be placed in the same group. Its true people shouldn’t condemn young mothers, but people shouldn’t naively think that it’s always going to work out in the end. Have a child when you’re prepared, when you’re financially stable and when you’re emotionally ready to take care of another human being. Don’t listen to the stereotypes or criticisms, but at 14 stay in school and at least get your high school diploma –it’ll definitely help you in life.